Neurodivergent Couples Counselling
Traditional methods of therapy often fail to recognise the impact that ADHD, ASD and HSP (high sensitivity) can have on a couple. I offer specialised couples therapy to neurodivergent couples. I have worked extensively with couples where autism, ADHD or a combination of both is present in the couple. I am a certified service provider for ADHD and have extensive experience working with both couples and individuals with ASD, ADHD and HSP or a combination.
Neurodivergence in Couples
Every couple is different and the presentations of ASD/ADHD/HSP in a couple are obviously couple specific. Some common patterns (especially where there has not been a diagnosis) are overwhelm, miscommunication, feelings of loneliness, not feeling ‘seen' or understood, gender identity, sexuality and questioning around these areas. Where one or both partners have ADHD there can often be difficulties around conflict and negotiation around difference and misunderstandings around practical aspects of the relationship. These conversations can often escalate, leaving the conflict areas unprocessed; with no repair being made. As part of the therapy, I offer psychoeducation around the conditions and then look at how neurodivergence comes into the couple dynamic. Understanding of the other is key in all couples but can sometimes be more difficult to achieve in neurodivergent couples. The therapy helps to address this thus increasing mutual understanding and offering techniques for effective communication, resolving conflict and managing difference; thus creating an improved connection.
The therapy aims for both people to take equal responsibility in managing the differences between them and helping the neurotypical partner understand the neurodivergent partner better or if both partners are neurodivergent; understanding how this affects the relatioship and working on strategies to cope with problem areas. This allows the couple to focus on the strengths of both partners. Acceptance and understanding of difference being the foundation for a mutually satisfying relationship.
Sessions
I offer 6 fortnightly sessions after an initial consultation. These sessions are every two weeks to give the couple time to process the session and work on some of the techniques at home. We will look at the couple history through a neurodiverse lens and focus on traits that may be causing difficulty in the couple such as overwhelm, intersectionality, burnout, social interactions, communication , emotional dysregulation and the different needs of each partner and how these can be better understood and met. Sometimes the 6 sessions are enough. If not, in the last session we can agree to more if needed. I provide a lot of psychoeducation; and also providing information to explore outside of the sessions - taking into account the couples individual ways to take in data.
The specialised couples package cost is £900 including the initial consultation. We can negotiate prices for further sessions if felt to be needed. If couples are not seeking such a solution focused approach I also offer longer term couples work. Please do get in touch for more information.